As human beings, we are all sexual creatures. God made us this way, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, yet it must be controlled. God is not against sex. He made it to be pleasurable and fun within the commitment of marriage. It is something for us to enjoy and feel good about, not guilty about. But when we take this gift and twist it and pervert it to satisfy our own selfish desires, we are disobeying God, misusing His gift, and hurting ourselves and others in the process. In our sexual inventory, we will be looking into God’s Word to understand His ideal for our sex life, and we will also be examining ourselves to look at the times we have misused sex in the past (on “Our Own Sex Conduct” review sheet).
Psalms 119:9 – How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your Word. 10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. 11 I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You. 12 Praise be to You, O LORD; teach me Your decrees.
As you study God’s perspective on sex, three things become apparent:
(taken from the book, “Why Wait,” by Josh McDowell)
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 – But since there is so much
immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own
husband. 3
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise
the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone
but also to her husband. In the same
way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do
not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may
devote yourselves to prayer. Then come
together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of
self-control.
Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the
marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually
immoral.
There are also three basic reasons for sex in the context of marriage: procreation, identification, and recreation.
Procreation: For the purpose of having children and creating family.
Genesis 1:22-23 – So God created man in His own image, in
the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God
blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the
earth and subdue it.—“
Identification: For the purpose of developing “oneness” between a husband and wife in three important dimensions – the physical, psychological, and spiritual.
Genesis 2:21-25 – So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. 23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Recreation: For the purpose of pleasure and enjoyment – in the context of marriage.
Proverbs 5:18-19 – May your fountain be blessed, and may
you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her
breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.
So, if God intended sex for procreation, identification, and recreation –all in the context of marriage, we need to look at the times we have used sex for reasons other than these --or for any reason outside of the context of marriage. In our written sexual inventory, we will review our own conduct over the years past. Where have we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Have we used sex or our sexuality to raise our self-esteem, fulfill our emotional security, to manipulate others, or to be in control? Who have we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion, bitterness, or lust? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We will put this all down on paper and look at it.
If we are using sex for reasons other than for what God intended it to be used for, we are disobeying Him, and we will need to confess our sin and repent. God will forgive us, but His forgiveness is not a license for sexual permissiveness. It is an opportunity to make a fresh start. With God we can have a new beginning. We don’t have to feel trapped into continuing down the path of disobedience, or continuing to be plagued with feelings of guilt, remorse, and shame. Jesus came to set us free.
2 Timothy 2:22 – Flee the evil desires of youth, and
pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the
Lord out of a pure heart.
Adultery (infidelity), fornication (sex outside of marriage) and lust, all fall into the category of sexual immorality or sexual impurity, and they are sins that Scripture clearly tells us to avoid.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 – It is God's will that you should
be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his
own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who
do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong
his brother or take advantage of him.
The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you
and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to
live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction
does not reject man but God, who gives you His Holy Spirit.
When Jesus walked the earth, He said that even when we are looking upon others lustfully, we are committing sin in our hearts. This means that we don’t have to be actively engaging in sex to be living sexually immoral and sexually impure lives. We can be sexually immoral and impure all by ourselves with our eyes, minds and hearts.
Matthew 5:27-30 – "You have heard that it was said,
‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a
woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If
your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of
your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it
away. It is better for you to lose one
part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
In the previous verses, Jesus explains the seriousness of sexual immorality –that it puts us in danger of being thrown into hell. In 2 Peter, we are further told about the seriousness of being lustful, sexually immoral and impure, yet claiming to be Christians.
17-22 – These men are springs without water and mists
driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is
reserved for them. 18 For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by
appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who
are just escaping from those who live in error. 19 They promise them freedom, while they
themselves are slaves of depravity--for a man is a slave to whatever has
mastered him. 20 If they have escaped the corruption of the
world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it
and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 21 It
would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness,
than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that
was passed on to them. 22 Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog
returns to its vomit," and, "A sow that is washed goes back to her
wallowing in the mud."
Paul explains it further to the Corinthians:
1 Corinthians 6:9-20 – Do you not know that the wicked
will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do
not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor
male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders
10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor
slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11
And that is what some of you were.
But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name
of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 12
"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is
beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be
mastered by anything. 13 "Food for the stomach and the stomach
for food"--but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for
sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By
his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and He will raise us also. 15 Do
you not know that your bodies are members of Christ Himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and
unite them with a prostitute?
Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself
with a prostitute is one with her in body?
For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." 17
But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit. 18
Flee from sexual immorality. All
other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins
against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple
of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20
you were bought at a price.
Therefore honor God with your body.
James 1:13-15 – When tempted, no one should say,
"God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He
tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own
evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.
15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives
birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Because we live in a world so full of sexual immorality, sexual impurity and lust, temptation is all around us. We would hardly be human if we were never tempted with sexual immorality, impurity and lust. First of all, we need to remember that our Lord understands:
Hebrews 4:16-17 –
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our
weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we
are--yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace
with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our
time of need.
And God will be faithful to help us:
1 Corinthians 10:12-13 – So, if you think you are
standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!
13 No temptation has seized you except what is
common to man. And God is faithful; He
will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that
you can stand up under it.
If we are really struggling with sexual immorality and lust, we need to give more of ourselves completely to Jesus Christ. We ask Him to come into our heart and be the Lord of every corner of our life, including being the Lord of our sexual nature and sexual desires. If we feel that we are fighting a loosing battle, let us open our hearts and minds to Christ, asking Him to give us strength.
Philippians 4:13 – I can do everything through Him who
gives me strength.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 – For though we live in the world,
we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the
weapons of the world. On the contrary,
they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension
that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every
thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Jesus Christ died on a cross 2,000 years ago in order to set us wretched human beings free from the bondage of sin, including the bondage to sexual sins. He paid the price long ago so that we wouldn’t be required to pay with our lives. He understands every emotion and every temptation that we have at this very moment. Jesus Christ knows that we can’t handle our situation alone and He is waiting for us to turn everything over to Him. God created us and our sexual natures, and He called it good. But, only through an intimate relationship with the Creator can our sexual impulses be controlled. If we will pray and ask God for the strength to deal with temptation, together with Him we will overcome it.
Galatians 5:16 – So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
And
finally, let us live our lives to please God, not ourselves.
Galatians 6:7-8 – Do not be deceived: God cannot be
mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The
one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap
destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap
eternal life.
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